i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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