was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....