Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  you smoke with your eyes?

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  (203): i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed (787): you smoke with your eyes? http://tfl.nu/xom7
  Replies (8) Good night (2448) Bad night (1161)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.

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  (513): he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps. http://tfl.nu/5rkl
  Replies (24) Good night (2594) Bad night (1049)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.

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  (508): Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/jn2c
  Replies (12) Good night (818) Bad night (4084)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button

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  (512): so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button http://tfl.nu/bgvc
  Replies (11) Good night (2746) Bad night (1500)
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  (949): View more from California

  im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume

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  (949): im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume http://tfl.nu/ixw0
  Replies (27) Good night (1296) Bad night (4229)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  it's like iHOP with fire

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  (301): it's like iHOP with fire http://tfl.nu/9idi
  Replies (20) Good night (4023) Bad night (821)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?

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  (785): So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg? http://tfl.nu/npo8
  Replies (23) Good night (1138) Bad night (4782)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I stole so many things from the ER last night.

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  (309): I stole so many things from the ER last night. http://tfl.nu/lt6b
  Replies (10) Good night (2661) Bad night (1006)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?

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  (313): At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely? http://tfl.nu/gf43
  Replies (4) Good night (2127) Bad night (1292)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.

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  (910): I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating. http://tfl.nu/3b9t
  Replies (6) Good night (2584) Bad night (1027)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL

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  (206): Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL http://tfl.nu/gjdn
  Replies (15) Good night (1170) Bad night (3814)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.

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  (775): She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time. http://tfl.nu/amjm
  Replies (3) Good night (888) Bad night (539)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.

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  (417): Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny. http://tfl.nu/ihx0
  Replies (2) Good night (1406) Bad night (384)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.

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  (971): Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica. http://tfl.nu/ptav
  Replies (3) Good night (1122) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.

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  (218): I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench. http://tfl.nu/hyfp
  Replies (5) Good night (293) Bad night (540)

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