Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yeah...right...LMAO

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  (703): belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads (202): i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel (703): Yeah...right...LMAO http://tfl.nu/ndo8
  Replies (4) Good night (1569) Bad night (1028)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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  (817): Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have. http://tfl.nu/2nqb
  Replies (23) Good night (669) Bad night (4611)
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  (310): View more from California

  u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.

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  (310): u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened. http://tfl.nu/5zha
  Replies (33) Good night (7257) Bad night (1179)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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  (510): I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend. http://tfl.nu/lprg
  Replies (10) Good night (5713) Bad night (653)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?

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  (217): who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo? http://tfl.nu/900o
  Replies (4) Good night (2247) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?

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  (780): do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ? http://tfl.nu/tyvw
  Replies (12) Good night (2573) Bad night (761)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.

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  (704): That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes. http://tfl.nu/bf3h
  Replies (3) Good night (1675) Bad night (569)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.

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  (509): As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. http://tfl.nu/wazh
  Replies (5) Good night (1255) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  And the results, officer?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She's fucked.

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  (401): I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle. (978): And the results, officer? (401): She's fucked. http://tfl.nu/1koh
  Replies (6) Good night (1134) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!

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  (573): Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go! http://tfl.nu/7mkv
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (236)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac

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  (516): I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac http://tfl.nu/kqv2
  Replies (4) Good night (217) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport

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  (815): Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport http://tfl.nu/ttkn
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch

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  (330): Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch http://tfl.nu/nj3s
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....

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  (317): I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong.... http://tfl.nu/btjr
  Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  this hospital has no fireball

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  (256): this hospital has no fireball http://tfl.nu/h1f7
  Replies (4) Good night (456) Bad night (256)

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