Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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  (860): I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John" http://tfl.nu/1on0
  Replies (19) Good night (4630) Bad night (1419)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours

  (816): View more from Missouri

  outstanding.

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  (816): and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like. (1-816): Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours (816): outstanding. http://tfl.nu/qtfw
  Replies (15) Good night (4477) Bad night (952)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night

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  (617): I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night http://tfl.nu/u1r5
  Replies (29) Good night (1921) Bad night (7262)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  fair is fair

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  (610): we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it (484): fair is fair http://tfl.nu/tm5x
  Replies (21) Good night (6173) Bad night (1140)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.

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  (205): Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit. http://tfl.nu/78iu
  Replies (9) Good night (1013) Bad night (3923)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.

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  (802): Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle. http://tfl.nu/jhbj
  Replies (7) Good night (3053) Bad night (1548)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.

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  (360): When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers. http://tfl.nu/l0o6
  Replies (9) Good night (517) Bad night (2543)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo

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  (613): Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo http://tfl.nu/26vh
  Replies (10) Good night (2061) Bad night (566)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow

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  (321): Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow http://tfl.nu/go53
  Replies (9) Good night (1417) Bad night (839)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.

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  (270): Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. http://tfl.nu/l82s
  Replies (4) Good night (1139) Bad night (480)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.

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  (570): I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/gcag
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (672)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow

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  (612): I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow http://tfl.nu/y8rx
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (497)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it

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  (813): I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it http://tfl.nu/wnc3
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (301)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Found the cure to anxiety attacks.

  (425): View more from Washington

  An orgasm

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  (425): Found the cure to anxiety attacks. (425): An orgasm http://tfl.nu/ydc6
  Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.

  (585): View more from New York

  If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.

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  (716): Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way. (585): If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this. http://tfl.nu/htqs
  Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (236)

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