Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
