she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
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So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
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I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine