yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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