You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
