Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
