Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
