i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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