just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ugly people sure do ruin things
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
