Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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