You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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