Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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