I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
