it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
