would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
this is an emotional support booty call
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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