Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
