hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize