JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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