My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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