Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
