Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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