I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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