i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
