I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
