but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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