My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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