Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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