I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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