Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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