Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
