Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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