What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
