Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Use "feeling words"
Yay
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
