May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
