I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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