currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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