Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
