we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Ketchup is God's man juice
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
