I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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