I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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