3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
