Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
should my penis look like a turkey
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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