..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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