hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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