I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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