so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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