I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
