He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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