You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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