I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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