i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
