I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize