i just wanna soil my oats bro
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
