Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Im part way to drunk.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
