apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
