do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
