Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
