I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
