I want to have your abortion
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
