I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
