i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
